As I sat down at my
computer with my take-away Executive Breakfast this morning I opened Facebook
and got ready for a little pre-work social networking. I smiled as I un-wrapped
my favorite brekkie of 2 eggs, 3 rashers of bacon and 200g rump steak.
But what I saw as the
page opened onto my news feed made me sick- a photo of some despicable woman
kneeling next to the dead body of the Lion King, smiling demonically with rifle
in hand. If it weren’t for my insatiable appetite for the flesh of farm animals
I would have stopped eating right then and there!
As I continued to
read, all the while chewing on bits of unfertilized chicken embryo and slithers
off of a pigs back, it became apparently clear that this Lion King was actually
part of a “canned hunting” scheme. I didn’t want to research it, but from my
imagination what I gathered was that Yanks (or Brits and I’d like to add
possibly Croatians and Westerosi) are crossing our borders and sneaking into the
Kruger National Park to genocide these Lion Kings that are being bred like
cattle for the slaughter on Lion King farms.
Let me tell you, I was
so shocked with my conclusion that bits of partially ground Bonsmara fell right
out of my mouth onto my bloody plate! I mean, can you imagine, just these
farms with herds and herds of Lion Kings grazing in the fields, or buildings
where elephants are force fed to fatten them up for consumption, or slaughter
houses dedicated to providing leopard braai meat for National Braai Day?
The story just
reminded me so much of that elephant-hunting-family story that went viral a
month or two ago. You know that one with an entire murderous family smiling
next to that kind of extinct species elephant?
As I read through
those 14 762 rage filled comments I felt myself nodding in agreement as people
were hoping and praying for an opportunity to meet that family in the street
and maybe perform some mob violence on them just as they had done to that
extinctish elephant. Flip, by the end I was just so pumped to go out and end
some serious human life!
But then some douche
on the comments feed started talking about conservation and the importance of
controlling elephant populations in national parks and I was like, “Conservayshun?
Who’s that? Screw Him! WHAT DO WE WANT? Vast
rampant herds of uncontrolled elephant. WHEN DO WE WANT IT? Now!”
Anyway, tonight, after
I finish my delicious meal of Atlantic Blue Marlin fillets, I’m going to write
an open letter to that demon lady and that other family with really young kids
from hell. All I want them to know is how this compassionate world will NOT
stand by as they wipe out our population of animals that have featured as
characters in Disney movies. They must expect to be Spanish Inquisitioned!
Afterword
It may or may not
please you to know that I, in fact, hate hunting (canned hunting worst of all)!
There are discussions about the effects (whether positive or negative) of
canned lion hunting on the conservation of the species. These are held between
specialists who know vastly more about the issue than any Facebooker. Still, I
think it’s a horrible thing to do!
However, I also hate the double standards that
people have. No one freaks out over the deaths of hundreds and thousands of
cows for beef because no one has an emotional attachment to cows. I am a meat
eater, so I realize the importance of the beef industry, but I don’t think the
death of a cow is any less sad than the death of a Lion (except where
conservation issues are concerned). What shocks me too is the violence directed
from one human to another over these photos that have gone viral and the fact
that people just don’t do research about these issues before they lash out.
Anyway, this was just a fun post to have a dig at said lashers.
If you actually are
interested in learning just a little about these issues, here are two links
which might enlighten you as they have me… just a littleJ
Extinctish-but-not-really
Elephants:
Issues concerning canned hunting of Lion
Kings:
